My husband recently passed away after a long battle with cancer. My children are in their early 20’s but are having trouble dealing with their father’s death. Can you suggest anything to help them cope with their grief?
Grief is a very personal
experience and each person grieves in his or her own way. The death of a parent
is often linked to the meaning of the parent to the child, whether positive or negative.
The death of your children’s father as they are young adults may be particularly
difficult because it is a time where they are establishing their own values, family
and career, and the family members may be exhausted physically and emotionally from
his long illness. In addition, young
adults don’t want to be told how to grieve, making a discussion about it potentially
more difficult. Resources that may be of help are below. It is important to support
your children to take the time they need to grieve, to keep the lines of communication
between family members open, especially among the siblings, and to support your
children in finding friends they can talk to. Consider doing a family remembrance
to your husband, such as a donation or something of permanence and draw on your
faith as needed.
Our sympathies and best wishes go out to you and your family.
Suggested websites with helpful resources:
www.caregiver-connect.ca; See
Palliative (End-of-Life) Care in
our Health Conditions section.
www.genesis-resources.com; they have
a particular brochure entitled “When your Parent Dies”
Bereavement Support Programs - Hospice & Palliative
Care Manitoba
Bereaved Families of Ontario – provides
region/city specific groups
British Columbia Bereavement HelpLine
Canadian Virtual Hospice
HealthLink Alberta - Bereavement
Suggested reading:
The Loss that is Forever. Maxine Harris (1995). New York: Penguin Books.
Available through Amazon.
On Grieving the death of a Father (1994). On Grieving the death of a Mother (2003). Harold Ivan Smith. Minneapolis: Augsburg-Fortress.
Available through Amazon.